So, my first inclination for choosing a dream date would be to select someone that I am genuinely attracted to, like Johnny Depp. But, I've never been good at making conversation with men like Depp. Too intimidating. Therefore, I decided to choose a man that I'm only sorta crazy about. My pick is:
But, I choose him on one condition. He cannot be himself. I don't really want to date an actual person with needs and interests. I want to date Mr. Schuester--nix that--Mr. Schue. Here's the plan for our romantic evening out:
We'd go somewhere low-key and chill. We wouldn't order full dinners, but lots of appetizers. Our conversation would consist of lots of trash talking about the Cheerios and Sue Sylvester. In fact, I'd help Will, ahem, Mr. Schue, plan his next move against Sue and the Cheerios. And, he'd probably want to sing to me. A ballad. I'm thinking something semi-corny but made better a cappella (not to mention the fact that a hot guy is singing to just me right in the middle of the restaurant). Maybe "Lost in Your Eyes" by Debbie Gibson. Yes, that'd be perfect.
The date would end with Mr. Schue and I both seeing how late it is...We really did lose ourselves in conversation. And, we both have to teach tomorrow. And what will the kids think if we're both tired? So, we say our goodbyes. No kisses. Romantic tension--That's the way to go.
But, before I could drive home, I'd want to go to the ladies room. Mr. Schue would have already left. As I go to wash my hands, who would I see but Sue Sylvester with her arms crossed and that knowing smirk spread across her face. She would say that she snapped a picture of me and Mr. Schue holding hands. It wouldn't be incriminating, but she'd say that she's not afraid to photoshop it. And spread it all around school. If I didn't agree to follow her evil plan, she's promises that she'll ruin my career. And end Glee Club once and for all.
It was the perfect date...until it turned into a perfect disaster. Dundundun. Next episode!
Thanks for humoring my inner Gleek!